Reflections on 3-years of healing and expansion since rising from the ashes of the fire that claimed the “old me” on 6/6/16.

 

On the evening of February 5th, 2016 I arrived home to my studio apartment in the hills of Boulder, CO to find the building on fireย ๐Ÿ”ฅ. It was very windy that night and while the fearless firefighters did show up, the photos attached were all that was left of the building and the contents the next day.

I was living in an apparent that was a small second building off to the side of a larger $1Million+ dollar home. Part of the space was going to be a recording studio and the recording studio space was still under construction. My monthly rent check was helping the owner of the space complete the renovations. I could smell smoke from the moment that I opened my car door when I arrived at home after that long day of yoga practice & work at my part-time job at bodywork bistro. Nobody else was home in the main house and I had no idea what to do other than call 911 and wait and watch the building burn helplessly and alone freezing in the dark.

At the time, I worked 3-days a week as the office manager for the ARISE Music Festival. I had big dreams of the music that might have been recorded amongst the many musician friends of mine in the space. To this day I still imagine โ€œwhat might have beenโ€ if the space hadnโ€™t burned and the studio was finished and set up for recording.Today, 3 years later, I stand alone in the kitchen of my tiny California apartment contemplating my lifeโ€™s evolution & expansion over the last 3 years. Yes, it is true the fire absolutely โ€œchanged meโ€ and the course of my entire life.

The experience of having to re-design yourself from the ashes up is an interesting and challenging experience.Transmuting the poison and facing the shadow of my souls darkest and deepest wounds has come with many colorful expansion experiences over the last 3 years. Iโ€™ve explored many healing modalities: massage therapist, bodyworkers, energy healers, leadership coaches, psychotherapist, herbalist, shaman, & sound-healers. Honestly and ultimately: nothing has fully been able to completely โ€œwipe the memoryโ€ of watching all of the things I thought made me who I was go up in flames.Many things that I lost I have been able to replace over the years and there are still many things I havenโ€™t replaced.

The #1 thing that I donโ€™t have that I would really like to manifest this year is a high quality digital cameraย ๐Ÿ“ท. My dream is to improve my blog and start offering photography as a service to my clients.

My hope is that by sharing my experience and feelings with my community today openly and honestly I can continue to let go of this painful experience and continue to move forward into the blessings and abundance of the new year of the Chinese Earth Pig!